It began as a mission to help other people after they've lost a loved one, and now a local organization has become a stop along the journey for residents managing grief.
Caring for Other People In Grief (COPING) Centre sits on a 6.4-acre property in Blair overlooking the Grand River. For 32 years, the organization has offered a place for residents to find peace, encouragement and companionship in their grief.
Roslyn Crichton co-founded the COPING Centre with her husband, Glenn Crichton. She said the centre is not meant to help people find closure from grief, but instead, provide the skills they need to help them manage through their grief journeys.
“There is a difference between grief and mourning, and grief is what we feel inside when we lose someone, but mourning is how we express it outside of ourselves," said Crichton. “If we mourn well, we can love well and live well again, and if we stuff the grief down inside, that’s how trouble happens, even a few years later.”
The couple knows grief can be a messy, isolating experience as they lost their daughter, Rachele, at the age of five after she was diagnosed with leukemia. Crichton said some people don't know how to support others going through grief and there is often a misconception that people will go through stages of grief or get over grief quickly.
“Grief is backwards and forwards, up and down and all around and it is very messy,” said Crichton.
Realizing there was a need for more support for grieving families, the couple decided to open the COPING Centre in 1990. Since then, the centre has supported thousands of people living with grief.
Crichton mentions the centre does not copy any other grief program and is based on resources created by the director of the Centre for Loss and Life Transition in Colorado, Alan Wolfelt.
“At the COPING Centre, people are allowed to explore their grief physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, so, we do look at it from a holistic point of view, and I think that’s an important thing for people to know,” said Crichton. “If they are coming here, they will be welcomed, and whatever their issues are, I think our programs will help them to explore those issues.”
The COPING Centre offers eight to 10-week group sessions in the fall and spring that discuss and provide strategies for managing grief and follow up programs for individuals. Group sessions are available for adults, young adults, teens, children and those who have lost a loved one to suicide.
Crichton mentions the centre also pays attention to different times of the year, like Christmas, and will host ceremonies.
“There’s a very good saying that ‘If words fail, use ceremony,’ and that’s what we do because too often, words are inadequate,” said Crichton.
For children and teens, the COPING Centre also runs a summer camp. Crichton explains the loss of a loved one can create many changes in a young person's life, from moving to a change in role within the family.
“There’s lots and lots that these kids to try and deal with at such young ages, and we’ve found the adventure camp a tremendous vehicle to help kids, because they have an opportunity to have fun and do sort of some normal things, which is very necessary for kids, and to meet other kids in similar circumstances,” said Crichton.
While the COPING Centre has stuck with its original mandate to provide companionship for people on their grief journeys, the centre did add a program to focus on providing skills to help young athletes dealing with mental health.
“It links beautifully because if kids don’t stay mentally well, we know they can run into trouble, and even, it can end up in suicide,” Crichton said about this program, “and so, we’re wanting to intervene in that and help them understand how to keep well and not reach the crisis line about ending their lives.”
All programming is free at the COPING Centre. Crichton said her and Glenn decided on this to ensure no individual faced a financial barrier to accessing grief services.
“Many people when they lose someone it does throw them into financial issues," said Crichton, who mentions a loss of a spouse or one spouse caring for a sick child can mean a loss of income.
“When we tell them there is no charge for our services, you can see relief on many of their faces when they realize that they can come, or perhaps their children and their brothers or sisters, can come at no charge.”
While there is no charge, the centre relies upon donations and fundraising events to help run their program. One upcoming fundraiser is a Car Raffle, which will be taking place in November 2022 and giving away a 2022 Mid-Engine Corvette Stingray. Tickets for the Car Raffle are currently available for purchase at their website.
After the beginning of the pandemic impacted funerals and other services people used to grieve the loss of loved ones, the COPING Centre has continued to try and operate despite the challenges brought on by COVID. Crichton said the centre has heard many grief stories during COVID.
“As things rise up, we try to meet those needs through the guidelines that we work with,” she said. “We keep to our original mission and we do it well.”
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