With a week to go until Valentine’s Day I have been thinking about the advice given me from the Coping Centre in Blair when taking a grief counselling course in 2011. It was a few months after the death of my late husband Stuart.
Their wise counsel suggested “Nurture yourself, try new things, do something you would not have done if your husband were still alive.” I followed their sage advice.
After a long marriage to find out who you are as an individual, not just half of a couple, takes thought and hard work.
One of my choices was to travel somewhere new. The Cambridge branch of CAA had a very good travel bureau, so I booked trips annually. In 2012 a trip titled Extraordinary Explorations caught my eye.
To commence in February 2013, this trip to Morocco was planned for 10 women to travel by minibus from Casablanca to the Atlas Mountains and back, covering 1,100 miles. This itinerary included spending a night in a Bedouin tent after riding a camel into the Sahara Desert, to stay in a Berber home in the mountains, to have cooking lessons and to visit local markets, interspersed with staying in a few good hotels, including in Marrakesh.
What a trip, certainly one I would not have done with Stuart, and I looked forward to the forthcoming adventure.
I met the 10 women at the Toronto airport, some from this area, others from further away. I had persuaded my sister-in-law, who lives in the UK, to join us in Paris.
Our first visit was to a Mosque in Casablanca, a large ornate beautiful building with a detailed and intricately patterned, tiled outdoor space for 25,000 people to pray. While looking up and taking a photo of a magnificent Minaret, walking forward, I fell, and I tried to protect my camera. The camera was fine, I was not. In agonizing pain, the guide escorted me to a bench and tried to ascertain the damage. My shoulder was broken.
My choice was to be hospitalized, or stay with the group, I elected to stay. To me being by myself in a hospital where my understanding of the language was non-existent, was not what I wanted. I knew usual treatment for such an injury was to stabilize the shoulder by using a neck and cuff brace with a sling, and I would utilize a scarf temporarily.
During the bus ride to the next village, I was offered a pain killer. Previous allergic reactions to any opioids made me hesitant. I was assured it was very mild, so took it. After a few minutes feeling very dizzy, I blacked out. A little later when I came to, I was most embarrassed to find I had thrown up all over myself and the bus. Stop the bus, get me a change of clothes, clean the floor etc. then on to our hotel destination. As we left the bus I turned and said to the other women, “We all know there is that ONE on every trip, and now you know it’s me, you can all relax.”
The women were incredibly caring and helpful. Over the next week the swollen arm underwent varying shades of deep blue and purple. Aspirin and a nightly glass of wine were essential. Days later the time came for our camel ride into the desert. After a half hour jeep ride into the centre of the Sahara we met our guide and the caravan of camels. Taking one look at me, with my cane and sling the guide commented, “You, you ride in jeep.”
“No way, here’s my cane. I will hold the reins with both hands, but this is the highlight of my trip, and I AM riding that camel.” He looked surprised but agreed, and leading the caravan of camels, walked using my cane!
Half an hour later after jerking up and down hills of golden sand dunes, with a huge smile on my face as I dealt with a lot of pain, we arrived at our camp site. What a great sense of achievement.
Sleeping on a thin lumpy mattress on the floor and just a heavy wool blanket was not easy. Unable to sleep that night I opened the canvas doorway and crawled outside. With no ambient light to interrupt it I was rewarded with an awesome sight, a deep navy sky filled with thousands of glittering stars, a mesmerizingly magical moment.
Once back at home, after a wonderful trip full of new experiences, the shoulder began to heal. We are fortunate to have excellent medical care in Cambridge and I felt most appreciative as my recovery progressed. This once in a lifetime opportunity, to ride a camel into the depths of the Sahara and the memory of that sky was a trip I’ll always remember.
So, this Valentine’s Day I’m reminded of the rewards and importance of trying something new and different, of taking risks, of shared love, kindness and acceptance of others.
To the people you most care about, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to tell them what they mean to you, and to think about what you love in your community of Cambridge. Wishing you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day.
