APRIL 23, 1954 – MARCH 5, 2024
Having learned the importance of leaving things in good order, Ted Paling and his wife Elizabeth recently set out to make a catalogue of their valuable possessions to include in their wills. Ted got a grin on his face and went into their room. He came out with his “precious belongings”: a red clown nose, which he wore to make his young grandchildren laugh; a ridiculously tacky souvenir gondola brought back from Venice by his daughters; and his 1970s copy of Steal This Book, purchased when it was still banned in Canada, which includes instructions on how to shoplift and make Molotov cocktails. Ted’s items expressed his essential qualities: his sense of humour, his rebellious spirit and the fierce love he felt for his family.
The red clown nose has been cremated with Ted, who passed away on March 5, 2024 at the age of 69. His wife of 43 years, Elizabeth Paling, and his daughter, Anne Paling, were there to hold his hand. Edward Charles Paling, known to everyone as “Ted”, was born in Hamilton, Ont. on April 23, 1954. Ted lost both his parents at a young age. He was bounced between foster homes as a child and fended for himself while still in high school, working two jobs to pay for room and board. Ted paid his own way through an English and History degree at Wilfrid Laurier University, graduating in 1978. One December around 1975, it dawned on Ted’s friend Bill Page that Ted had nowhere to spend Christmas. Bill dragged him home. At home was Bill’s family: his generous and independent-minded mother, Maggie; his soft-spoken doctor and World War II veteran father, Bill Sr.; and three sisters, Katie, Judy and Liz.
The Pages became Ted’s surrogate family. About once a month for more than four decades, Ted visited Maggie, often bringing along her favourite coffee cake. After university, Ted moved to Alberta with his friend, Dave Fanning, where he got a job waiting tables at the Banff Springs Hotel. In Banff, he met his wife and best friend Elizabeth. Elizabeth says she fell in love with him because he was a gentleman with a weird sense of humour. The couple got married in a summer ceremony in 1981 in Cambridge, Ont. They had three amazing daughters: Tessa, Anne and Emma. One of the most remarkable things about Ted was that he became a devoted family man despite growing up without a family of his own. He spent years as a stay-at-home dad, cooking meals, being a cool dad and keeping secrets for his daughters.
When their eldest got the “first” industrial ear piercing in the family, Ted initially told Elizabeth that Tessa got a tattoo to soften her mother’s reaction. When Anne was 13, she got detention for failing to get a parent’s signature on a test. Ted’s response? He taught her how to forge his signature and told her not to let it happen again. When Emma scratched up her mother’s car the first day she had her G2, Ted kept her secret for the rest of his life. He also poured effort into the local communities in Cambridge and Kitchener-Waterloo. Over the years, Ted volunteered at a high school, tutoring students who had failed their literacy tests; at a community justice initiative, mediating disputes and working with minors who had been arrested; at the Cambridge Food Bank; and with an organization that helped Ukrainian refugees find jobs and housing.
At the time of his death, Ted was about to start driving for a charity that provides food to vulnerable school children. Ted was an avid reader and he passed on his love of books to his children, nieces, nephews and grandchildren. When his grandson Eamon was only 4, he asked his grandfather what he was reading. To the amusement of the other adults in the family, Ted answered honestly: “Well, Eamon, this book is called The Origins of Totalitarianism.” In 2012, Ted and Elizabeth fulfilled their longtime dream of moving to the country. They moved into a rundown house in Ayr, Ont. and renovated it into a stunning home. Ted took to the birds, filling bird feeders with seed every two days and leaving cut-up oranges outside to attract Orioles.
In addition to the family members he chose along the way, Ted leaves behind his wife and daughters, sons-in-law Ed Niemchak and Zack Buchanan, many in-law siblings, a gaggle of nieces and nephews and two grandchildren. Ted’s grandkids brought out the two distinct sides of his personality. Smart and contemplative Eamon, 8, loved talking books and history with his Grandad. Claire, now 4, is a perpetual goofball: she’ll miss tickling her feet on Grandad’s prickly beard
. A celebration of life will be held at the Waterloo Regional Police Association and Recreation Centre at 1128 Rife Road in North Dumfries on Sunday, April 14, 2024 at 2:00 p.m. with formal remarks around 3 p.m. Donations can be made to the Ted Paling Legacy Fund at Waterloo Region Community Foundation by visiting www.wrcf.ca/tedpaling
Arrangements entrusted to Coutts Funeral Home & Cremation Centre
